Don’t let yourself get stuck in a rut! I’m easily prone to that, myself. I thought of a makeup analogy that relates to my life. Maybe this will resonate with you. I went through a phase this past September, where I *loved* a golden peachy pink tone of lipstick that was so pretty, and – so - discontinued. (Bella Pierre Kiss Proof Metallic Lip Crème in ‘Miami Glam.’) I did what any lipstick aficionado would do and ordered a couple. (Well, two more than a couple.) I found four on eBay and ordered them in four separate purchases. I had loved the shade so much and received so many compliments on it; I knew it was ‘me’ to a ‘T.’ I couldn’t find a shade anywhere that would replicate it. The more I wore it though, the less comfortable I was with using my other shades, I noticed. And the less comfortable I was with trying anything new for lipstick shades. I ventured out one day, though, wearing red. Big, bold, ‘Outlaw’ red, created by Kat Von D. I felt like a rebel, truly. It was a real ‘power shade’ and people noticed it. I got a lot of compliments on it. Somehow, I began to feel more comfortable to experiment with red shades, and slowly strayed away from my old, familiar shade which I noted in pics, paled my complexion, overall. Both lipstick shades were good, though. Each was amazing and worthy of using on a regular basis. I now try to go back and forth among the shades, even finding that purple is a pretty shade to experiment with. And yes, even black! This is what I think happens to us in life: We get accustomed to having the same routine, and we don’t take the time, nor do we expend the energy/drive needed to experiment with different components in our lives, and LIVE. I’m talking about truly living. No reference to lipstick in this regard. I’m starting to see that at the end of every day, that is one less day I will have here on earth. So why not make every fucking day count? #MakeEveryFuckingDayCount
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As soon as I saw these quotes from a favourite book I had read over and over to my own kids, I knew I wanted to write a blog on it. The following excerpt is from the book, The Velveteen Rabbit, written by Margery Williams: “Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit. "Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt." "Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?" "It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand." My breath caught when I read it. My heart felt the heaviness of hurt. Of pain. The pain that I imagine we all feel in our lives…Being real is definitely pure pain, no doubt about it. But as the skin horse said, you ‘become.’ You become real, and so it is, to be real, you have to feel real and you have to experience real pain. People don’t become real until they experience life. Children experience life in increments. Little pains here and there, things like scraped knees, and disappointments such as lost balloons flying up into the sky. Children grow into teens, who experience a larger degree of pain in life. Some go through heartaches of teen relationships, which later, they discover to be smaller in scale to the heartaches they will experience later in life. As adults, we want to believe we know what we are doing. We are ‘adulting’, after all. We put on our best faces and move forward in what we deem to be a confident manner. Maybe though, we don’t know ‘wtf’ we are doing. Maybe we exude too much confidence when really, we feel like retreating into a protective shell. As the skin horse stated, it *does* take a long time to become real. Maybe some people experience being real when they are in their 30’s, and others, later. For myself, it has been later. Almost as though I have awakened from something. Life looks and feels different in these past few months. I feel as though for a long time I was perhaps just as the skin horse stated… I broke easily. I had sharp edges and had to be carefully kept. But then, I slowly started to shed all my old self. In no sense am I speaking in physical terms - This is to do with my inner sense of self, in what my role is in this world and how I will go about in fulfilling my goals, dreams and passions. I have finally become accustomed to being ‘me’ now, since I learned who I am, and I have ‘grown into my skin’, so to speak. I found out who I am and try to follow it. I am loved by family and friends and in many ways, with the pain and heartache, along with disappointments experienced in life, I am incredibly – what is the phrase…. Well worn. I am worn out with everything I have been through. Those who know me don’t find ‘me’ ugly. Those who know my voice, my thoughts, my feelings – as I have been expressing them in my blogs and through simply being my real self, understand me, and what I have been saying all along. “You become.” Indeed. Erin Flanagan Stashko - Dec. 3, 2018 |
AuthorErin Flanagan Stashko Archives
December 2018
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