Remember me
I stepped away from everything safe, warm and comfortable And stepped into a role of caretaker Of Patriot Of Giver Of All A sacrifice for my country they say And to that it is Yet… I see my country in my people I look into their eyes and know I did it for them For every single Canadian, present and future In past, too - In memory of my relatives who perished in WWI I speak not as one solider but as all Freedom lives within each of us But it takes a courageous voice and mind of grace To accomplish what we did Be a proud Canadian We are a strong and hearty type Who have kind but fierce hearts And who are loyal to our country And remember me, please Remember the way we said goodbye to our families Hugs at the train stations, bus depots and more Tears glistened in eyes but the strong hugs said it all: “Go Forth in Peace.” I didn’t make it through the war. I perished. But I obtained peace and my voice lives on As a reminder. I am that peace. I am that love I am that strength that flows Throughout the hearts of every Canadian Erin Flanagan Stashko Nov. 9, 2018
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In the hospital room, My Dad took a few steps away from his hospital bed and stood tall and proud, despite being so ill, right after telling me we should say goodbye. His body was in a pose that was well known to me to be - ministerial-like. I had seen him strike the same pose for those in his congregations after a church service, when he would greet people as they exited the pews and headed toward him at the back of the church. He extended his arms to me in an outstretched, warm, caring and welcoming manner. I stepped into his arms, and as I hugged my Dad for what I - and he - both knew would be for the very last time, I felt my left hand very tenderly touch the back of his head near the base of his neck, resting it there in a loving, almost motherly gesture, that strongly spoke to both of us. I remember vividly how soft his hair was. My loving touch held all sentiment and spoke clearly: You have taught me well, my father. The time has come now for me to spread my wings to fly solo, without your physical presence at my side in this life as we know it. It is your turn now, to be cared for and soothed by my calming and loving touch. It was a sudden but evident role reversal that had more to emit to him: It is soon time to go to your Father and rest eternally in peace, for your work on earth - your very reason for your life, has been so graciously fulfilled. Much like Robert Munsch’s book, Love You Forever, in which the theme is the love between a parental and child, I expressly understand what Munsch means when he writes: “I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living my baby you'll be.” Just as in the book, the mother fell ill and the roles reversed, so too did it instantaneously change between my dad and I. A couple of days before this, he told me that as a caregiver, he found it difficult to be at the receiving end of help, rather than the other way around. I believe we both knew the significance of our final hug and I also feel that my motherly instinct with my comforting touch to the back of his head gave him the same calming feeling that he himself had given to many, many others before, as he served God and God’s people - those being his congregations, his family, his friends and even strangers during troubled times. He served in the United Church but his love for others was universal. He would sometimes meet with various town groups and committees, and would joke around with people from other Religions, saying that “One day, we will all become United.’ - Of course, he meant United in Love. As well it should be. But with him being a United Church minister, it was a clever, albeit a little bit of a Dad joke (which, I fully admit, I sadly miss.) You have taught me well, my father. You have, through the years, passed onto me through perhaps genes, but more so, examples set, and teachings by you, how it is to be a warm, compassionate person to others. I shall carry on your legacy by choice and by and through my very being. It took me a long time to realize, Dad, that you have passed on an invaluable gift to me in which I can make tremendous use of in a mission to carry on your legacy of loving others. Nike always said ‘Just Do It.’ I believe you knew what they meant, and you ‘Just Loved’... You loved others when it was difficult - impossible even. But you just did it. You never gave up on anyone and put your faith in them that they would thrive. I won’t let you down, my father. No, I won’t back down. Life may throw some pretty crummy things at me, but I like this quote I recently read: “But when I tried to throw in the towel, God threw it back and said, ‘Wipe your face; You’re almost there!’ “ (Source unknown.) For sure, Dad! I am almost there. Thanks to you and many years of love, knowledge and teachings through you. Erin Flanagan Stashko - Nov. 5, 2018 This isn’t meant to scare you or make you feel panicked - This concept is something near and dear to my heart, just as this song is: https://g.co/kgs/dmhz5H Following through on this concept means more than doing stuff. Be yourself. Be YOU. Too many times, people don’t stop and talk to others. We don’t pay random compliments. If I think of something to say, even if I feel a bit silly saying so, I usually just do it now. For example, last night in the mall at one of the sales kiosks where they try to give out free samples, I declined the free sample but I stopped and talked to the lady. I said, I don’t have money to purchase products like this. But it bothers me that some people will walk on by and ignore you or treat you badly. I said, I just wanted to acknowledge that I see you as a *person. * She was so smiley and happy to hear this. I gave her two Halloween chocolate bars I had, (one was for her co-worker, I told her.) I stated that she was always giving out samples, now it was her turn to get something back. I know it was just chocolate. (When is chocolate ever ‘just chocolate’, mind you??) But - it lit up her face. Then she offered me up the sample in a genuinely warm manner. When I use my face cream sample today, I will remember this amazing person. One who stands with a smile, hoping for people to look at her and see her for who she is. Now - the pushy sales guy at the mall kiosk who claimed he ‘just wanted to see my smile’ - I’m sorry. I admit I rolled his eyes. But then I remembered to be nice. So I gave him one of these a real smile. It was genuine. As well it should be. |
AuthorErin Flanagan Stashko Archives
December 2018
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